Chat Tips

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If you're using the Chat or Date service, then you want to get the most out of your talk time. The point is to make friends or chat your way to a date or even get involved in some saucy conversation. For first-time users, chatting to people you don't know can be a little daunting, but remember that even the most seasoned chatters had to go through their first time as well. Either way, we compiled the best chatting tips for you here on this page. Just follow the links on the right to get you started.

Once you've chatted a couple of times, the whole thing becomes easier Suddenly, you've got people out there who know you and you've also learned which are the best ways to kick-start a conversation. Let's have a look at some useful chatting tips that'll help you out, whether you're a newbie or a regular motor-mouth.

#1 - What on Earth are you going to talk about?

You've never met this person before, so how are you supposed to start a conversation with them? There's a very simple trick to use that will help you start a conversation. The opening of a chat is the only real hurdle you have to cross; the trick is to get the talk flowing. What you need to remember is that most people are comfortable talking about their favourite subject – and the favourite subject for most people is usually themselves!

Before you decide to get in touch with someone, check out their profile and do a little homework. Find out what their interests are or how they categorise themselves and get them to expand on that. You can begin by introducing yourself and then on to say something along the lines of “I saw on your profile that you're into motorbikes. How did you get into that?” As a result, the beginning of your conversation is going to be about motorbikes but, the more you ask about the topic, the more likely they are to reveal little clues about themselves that you can pick up on and start to move the conversation in the direction you want. Unless, of course, you're also a petrol-head yourself too. In which case, you'll be cheerfully chatting about bikes and swapping stories without too much bother.

#2 - Any good conversation is about give and take

As much as you might have a lot of stuff to talk about, so too might the person on the other end of the line. Chat or Date is a good environment in which to practice your listening skills – a skill you can use in your day to day encounters. Listening doesn't make the other person feel that you might be getting bored; it actually makes them feel that you're giving them your full attention and that you're interested in what they have to say.

However, it's also worth remembering that you're on the phone and that they can't see your nodding or expression, so don't be afraid to vocalise your agreement with little contributions; a simple “yeah” between sentences can be of great encouragement to your contact. In addition, if you're running off at the mouth and you're talking to a more reserved person, they're going to be less inclined to join in, unless you give them the chance to. If someone's on a roll, let them have their say. Not only will you learn more about them that way, but you may find that they introduce something into the conversation that you hadn't thought of.

#3 – X-rated chat, or harmless flirting?

Some people use Chat or Date to flirt or even indulge in some adult conversation. However, if that's what you want, you have to be sure that that's what they want, too. There's no point running headlong into some good, old-fashioned dirty talk, only to find out that the other person is mortally offended. Do a little homework in advance; check out other people's profiles and make sure that they're into that side of things.

Take it slowly; while you might want to get X-rated, your contact might only be up for a bit of harmless flirting, so only bump up the temperature by increments and if that person says they're uncomfortable with the way the chat's going, then back down. There are plenty of other people out there who are looking for the same as you.

#4 – Make allowances if they're shy

Many people who aren't entirely comfortable with social interaction tend to see conversations as a form of commitment in itself – a commitment that they're too shy to make. It might be that they're worried what'll happen if the conversation goes quiet or that they'll come across as boring and not have anything to say. Conversation for shy people can feel like a very intimidating and claustrophobic experience and lead them to panic.

However, there's one thing you can remember that will take the pressure off: at any time, if you're not enjoying yourself or finding the whole chat thing a bit too much to deal with, all you have to do is hang up. You don't know the person you were talking to and you never have to have any form of contact with them again so, if you're finding it all it bit difficult, just ring off. Just being aware that you can do that is often such a relief that it makes chat much easier; you're not having to walk out of a room or make blundering excuses – the exit is always open and you can take it any time you want.

#5 - Be honest

There's no point pretending to be something that you're not. Although it might be the case that you're unlikely to meet the majority of your contacts, telling lies requires a superb memory and you need to remember what you've said and to whom. Let's face it; the truth is far easier to remember than a falsehood, so why waste your energy trying to remember the details of a fib, when the details of an actual event will just trip off your tongue?

Some people might feel that they have nothing to offer, but being honest is a good start - and an important one at that. Whether you're looking for friendship or romance, the Chat or Date environment is one in which you can be yourself without worrying about what you look like or what you're wearing. Chat or Date proves the maxim that beauty isn't just skin deep; be honest and you'll gain more respect and contacts than if you create a false personality.

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Chat or Date is the UK's leading provider of phonechat lines with over 16 years of success behind us

At Chat or Date we help 1000's of people to get together for telephone dating on safe chat lines whenever or wherever they are. We are the largest provider of cheap chat lines and dating phonelines in the UK.

We operate services on multiple digital platforms so you can connect with people on the phone, online or mobile. Chat with hundreds of callers online and on our chat line right now, many of whom will be local to you.

Chat or Date is one of the Intermediactive Group brands and sits alongside Gay Network, 4D, Candywall and Kooma as part of the wider group. The group is wholly UK owned and based in South London. We are regulated by both OFCOM and the Phone-paid Services Authority and are members of the Internet Foundation, FAST, the DMA and AIME.

You can contact us any time.