If you're using the Chat or Date service, then you want to get the most out
of your talk time. The point is to make friends or chat your way to a date or even
get involved in some saucy conversation. For first-time users, chatting to people
you don't know can be a little daunting, but remember that even the most seasoned
chatters had to go through their first time as well. Either way, we compiled the best chatting
tips for you here on this page. Just follow the links on the right to get you started.
Once you've chatted a couple of times, the whole thing becomes easier Suddenly,
you've got people out there who know you and you've also learned which are the best
ways to kick-start a conversation. Let's have a look at some useful chatting tips
that'll help you out, whether you're a newbie or a regular motor-mouth.
#1 - What on Earth are you going to talk about?
You've never met this person before, so how are you supposed to start a conversation
with them? There's a very simple trick to use that will help you start a conversation.
The opening of a chat is the only real hurdle you have to cross; the trick is to
get the talk flowing. What you need to remember is that most people are comfortable
talking about their favourite subject – and the favourite subject for most people
is usually themselves!
Before you decide to get in touch with someone, check out their profile and do a
little homework. Find out what their interests are or how they categorise themselves
and get them to expand on that. You can begin by introducing yourself and then on
to say something along the lines of “I saw on your profile that you're into motorbikes.
How did you get into that?” As a result, the beginning of your conversation is going
to be about motorbikes but, the more you ask about the topic, the more likely they
are to reveal little clues about themselves that you can pick up on and start to
move the conversation in the direction you want. Unless, of course, you're also
a petrol-head yourself too. In which case, you'll be cheerfully chatting about bikes
and swapping stories without too much bother.
#2 - Any good conversation is about give and take
As much as you might have a lot of stuff to talk about, so too might the person
on the other end of the line. Chat or Date is a good environment in which to practice
your listening skills – a skill you can use in your day to day encounters. Listening
doesn't make the other person feel that you might be getting bored; it actually
makes them feel that you're giving them your full attention and that you're interested
in what they have to say.
However, it's also worth remembering that you're on the phone and that they can't
see your nodding or expression, so don't be afraid to vocalise your agreement with
little contributions; a simple “yeah” between sentences can be of great encouragement
to your contact. In addition, if you're running off at the mouth and you're talking
to a more reserved person, they're going to be less inclined to join in, unless
you give them the chance to. If someone's on a roll, let them have their say. Not
only will you learn more about them that way, but you may find that they introduce
something into the conversation that you hadn't thought of.
#3 – X-rated chat, or harmless flirting?
Some people use Chat or Date to flirt or even indulge in some adult conversation. However,
if that's what you want, you have to be sure that that's what they want, too. There's
no point running headlong into some good, old-fashioned dirty talk, only to find
out that the other person is mortally offended. Do a little homework in advance;
check out other people's profiles and make sure that they're into that side of things.
Take it slowly; while you might want to get X-rated, your contact might only be
up for a bit of harmless flirting, so only bump up the temperature by increments
and if that person says they're uncomfortable with the way the chat's going, then
back down. There are plenty of other people out there who are looking for the same
as you.
#4 – Make allowances if they're shy
Many people who aren't entirely comfortable with social interaction tend to see
conversations as a form of commitment in itself – a commitment that they're too
shy to make. It might be that they're worried what'll happen if the conversation
goes quiet or that they'll come across as boring and not have anything to say. Conversation
for shy people can feel like a very intimidating and claustrophobic experience and
lead them to panic.
However, there's one thing you can remember that will take the pressure off: at
any time, if you're not enjoying yourself or finding the whole chat thing a bit
too much to deal with, all you have to do is hang up. You don't know the person
you were talking to and you never have to have any form of contact with them again
so, if you're finding it all it bit difficult, just ring off. Just being aware that
you can do that is often such a relief that it makes chat much easier; you're not
having to walk out of a room or make blundering excuses – the exit is always open
and you can take it any time you want.
#5 - Be honest
There's no point pretending to be something that you're not. Although it might be
the case that you're unlikely to meet the majority of your contacts, telling lies
requires a superb memory and you need to remember what you've said and to whom.
Let's face it; the truth is far easier to remember than a falsehood, so why waste
your energy trying to remember the details of a fib, when the details of an actual
event will just trip off your tongue?
Some people might feel that they have nothing to offer, but being honest is a good
start - and an important one at that. Whether you're looking for friendship or romance,
the Chat or Date environment is one in which you can be yourself without worrying about
what you look like or what you're wearing. Chat or Date proves the maxim that beauty
isn't just skin deep; be honest and you'll gain more respect and contacts than if
you create a false personality.